Does TLC stand for Torturing Little Children?
The cable channel’s emphasis on trailing children in bizarre home environments (see “Jon & Kate Plus 8” and “17 Kids and Counting”) gives plenty of ammo to viewers who believe TLC makes its brand by exploiting the young.
Now comes its latest unscripted series, “Toddlers & Tiaras” (Tuesday night at 10), a sympathetic yet ultimately creepy look at the world of child beauty pageants.
In the opener, parents and aspiring princesses steel themselves for the first-ever Miss Georgia Spirit competition.
“It can be overwhelming to present your child as perfect,” says one mother of a 5-year-old.
That doesn’t stop her from doing everything possible, including hiring a coach to help her daughter prepare.
“When I win, I feel happy. I don’t win, I feel kind of sad,” says the girl, who has competed in about 20 pageants in the last two years and picked up about 16 chintzy trophies.
There’s a lot of blather about children learning values, but it’s hard to see what kids will pick up beyond eating disorders. (Only girls appear in the premiere, but the channel promises boys will pop up in later installments.)
If you are interested, there are things to be learned. For example, in this pageant, children can compete “glitz” – with extravagant dresses, full makeup, fake eyelashes and a spray-on tan – or “natural,” which, as it sounds, means pretty much the opposite.
The night’s big showdown comes down to two contestants who embody opposite styles. The girl who goes glitz looks like a painted doll.
The mothers seem to be living out their own dreams of glory through their children. The mother of a 2-year-old vows she’ll take her daughter off the pageant circuit if the child ever lets her know she’s not happy. All mom has to do is watch this episode. The toddler veers from one meltdown to the next. If she could form the sentences, she’d probably be begging for foster care.
The child beauty pageant seems like quite the racket. Parents spend thousands on dresses, coaches and makeup, and for what? Cheap trophies and affirmation that only looks count.
What 2-year-old needs an $800 dress?
Series premiere Tuesday night at 10 on TLC.
