One of my favorite things about martial arts history, is that so much of it is orally passed on, that things like dates and facts are often blurred. Stories are embellished. Things get changed in translation. It makes for very interesting stories, usually with a moral,  ALWAYS with some extreme badassery. This also makes it very easy for someone like me to remember, when stories could’ve happened this way or that way, sometime around sometime.

For this Kung Fu Friday,  I have no choice but to focus on the master who would beat your Sifu, your Daddy, your neighborhood bully, in fact – any of your favorite fighters to a pulp. The man who makes me laugh at all your dumb Chuck Norris memes. The Abbott White,  The White Browed Hermit, the man who is credited with such techniques as the five point palm exploding heart (Dim Mak), Eagle Claw

and Iron Shirt.

The mythical and majestic Bak Mei.

Perhaps better known in the west as Pai Mei, or The Priest Pai Mei.

When this dude shows up, you’re in real trouble. You better get right with God, or holler at Buddha, do whatever you gotta do with whatever your flavor of Savior. You better count your blessings, and fast.

You better kiss your mama, your wife, your side chick, and your babies, and then finally kiss your ass goodbye. If Pai Mei is looking for you, it’s last call, grand finale, and curtains. You’re done.

Legend has it that he lived for over 1000 years and almost everyone who came to kill him perished at his hand. In the movies, he is daunting. Majestic with his snowy brows and beard, despite his youthful face. For over a decade he appeared using different names in movies such as;

• Shaolin Avengers (1976)
• Executioners of Shaolin (1977)

• Shaolin Abbott (1979)
• Clan (Or Fist) of The White Lotus (1980)

• Wu Tang vs. Ninja (1987)

Then again in 2004, he appeared as a cruel Sifu in Kill Bill Vol 2.

You will recognize him in the movies by the white hair, and all the ass whooping and insults he delivers with ease. Pai Mei is not here for ANY of your crap.

What you may not know, is that legend tells us that he was a real person. You see, Chinese dynastic history is full of tales of monasteries being built, burned down, built again in secret, vengeance etc. Whenever a new dynasty would take over, you can bet that somebody didn’t like it and something subversive was underway.

Word on the street is that Bak Mei (Pai Mei,  whatever,  everyone has different names) was one of the legendary Five Elders. The Qing dynasty destroyed the Shaolin Monastery by burning it to the ground (again) sometime within some window of 85 years or so (1647-1732, see how easy it is to retell these vague accounts?). Of the Five Elders which survived, Pai Mei was one.

The Elders went into hiding for a few years, avoiding conflict and detection in likely efforts to avoid death while they decided what to do next. Eventually they regrouped somewhere on a mountain in the Sichuan Province in a monastery amidst over 70 other monasteries. The plan? To overthrow the Qing dynasty and avenge the burning of the Shaolin Temple. Of course.

Pai Mei was to work as a spy, infiltrate the dynasty, and work with the other elders to finalize their plan. Here comes the sad part: as he was doing this, he concluded that overthrowing the Qing was not possible. Perhaps this was wisdom, but the camp took it as cowardice, they were angry at his giving up.

For years after that, Pai Mei lived in virtual exile. Killing and maiming everyone who came for him, and there were many. Eventually he was killed, but no one can agree on whether it was poison, or he fell at the hands of a master of the Tiger or Crane style.

Never the less, the White Lotus style is the stuff kung fu nerd dreams are made of. There are numerous Bak Mei practitioners still studying this style today. And no matter what you think of Pai Mei, he would have whopped you, your sifu, your mama, and anyone you care about. Happy Kung Fu Friday.