Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
When I think about Brian Robbins’ legendary 1999 film Varsity Blues, which is currently streaming on Paramount+, one scene instantly springs to mind: “Playing football at West Canaan may have been the opportunity of your lifetime, but I don’t want your life!“
If you’re of a certain age, Varsity Blues is non-ironically terrific. The film features an endless supply of memorable moments — I always loved Amy Smart’s delivery of “Oh my God. Star quarterback Johnny Moxon. Somebody hold me up.” — but the movie’s enduring legacy is unquestionably Ali Larter’s iconic whipped cream bikini scene.
If you’ve never seen Varsity Blues, the star-studded R-rated teen flick centers on a backup high school quarterback (Dawson’s Creek star James Van Der Beek) who’s thrust into the spotlight after the team’s star QB (Paul Walker) is injured. Oh, and Jon Voight plays an evil coach. It’s the best. Anyway, the famed whipped cream bikini scene has been endlessly parodied, most notably by Chris Evans in Not Another Teen Movie. Fun fact: Van Der Beek’s 2012 ABC sitcom Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23 also used the bit in an extremely meta ad campaign for the show.
The latest series to don the sexy yet unpractical swimwear? Netflix’s Obliterated.
Created by Cobra Kai’s Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg, and Josh Heald, the R-rated series follows an elite special forces team who thwarts a deadly attack in Las Vegas. To celebrate, the gang gets hammered, only to learn that the bomb they deactivated was a fake. The team, led by Ava Winters (Shelley Hennig) and Chad McKnight (Nick Zano), has seven hours to find the real bomb and save the world… all while intoxicated. The series has earned mixed reviews, but if you’re in the mood for a fun action throwback, the eight-episode show is worth a watch.
The most memorable scene in the pilot (and that’s saying something) features NSA agent Maya Lerner (Kimi Rutledge) utilizing the whipped cream bikini after hearing her crush, McKnight, loves the movie Varsity Blues. Dressed in dessert, Maya enters McKnight’s hotel room and says…
But best-laid plans, etc, etc. Her sexy declaration is immediately followed by a “what the fuck?!” as she discovers that Winters and McKnight just hooked up. The cherry on top of this embarrassingly sexy sundae? One of her cherries falls off.
To quote the great Charlie Tweeder from Varsity Blues: “Hold on to your nipples!”
All eight episodes of Obliterated are now streaming on Netflix, and Varsity Blues is available on Paramount+.
